- On May 12, 2015
Even when you ask a friend to be honest with you and tell you where you need to change; one of the hardest tasks is to take what he says on the chin. It’s a cruel thing to see your mistakes from someone else’s eyes… Somehow, we always immediately adopt a defensive stance.
It takes courage to ask our spouse where we are going wrong. But it takes even more courage to swallow our pride and see our mistakes through that person’s eyes and then do something about it.
Of course there is always another option; albeit one that changes nothing. You can always take the easy route of blaming your negative attitude on your mom, dad, cat, parakeet, and whoever else comes up in your mind as a possible scapegoat. Actually, this is usually our immediate reaction to any flaw of ours that is highlighted by someone close to us.
Now, it may indeed be that we have acquired a negative attitude in our relationship because of something that someone has done against us in the past. But that is not the reason why we still keep this in our behaviour. We may not be guilty of things done against us in the past and the bad attitude it has formed in us, but we are indeed guilty of carrying these things around in us. We are 100% solely responsible for doing something about these attitudes that only damage our chances of being happy.
As unpleasant as it may be, choose to take responsibility not for what was done against you, but for getting rid of whatever attitude has stifled your chances of being happy.
You will be all the better for it.