- On May 28, 2015
Remember when you started at school and you were made to write a letter repeatedly on an exercise book page until you learnt it? The same process was then repeated for all the other letters of the alphabet until you knew them by heart. And don’t even get me started on the maths times table…
The method commonly known as learning by repetition, aims at getting us to learn things by repeating them constantly (hence the name). But human beings are usually quite good also at learning what not to do after repeating a mistake a couple of times. Shame that the same doesn’t happen in relationships…
When people go into relationships it seems all common sense goes out the window, and all we learnt at school doesn’t seem to come to mind when needed. In fact what we usually do is that everything that we end up doing in our relationships that don’t normally work, we just keep on repeating it again and again. How intelligent is that? (rhetorical question there)
I often hear people complaining about how men are all the same. But perhaps is not so much that men are all the same, but that the selection process of these men has been the same. It hasn’t worked, but the person keeps choosing potential partners that they know are not really suitable for a life long commitment. Things like character, ethics, life goals that are the most important things in a relationship, are all overlooked for the sake of other things that are not so important. No wonder things go wrong.
Some men complain that all women nag, but they never stop to ask themselves why this is. It gets to the point of nagging because many times they chose not to listen to their partners, and that’s when the nagging happens because they didn’t get the message the first time.
So stereotypes aside, the lesson here is that if you have been doing things a certain way in your marriage and it hasn’t really worked, then it’s time for a change. Be pragmatic about things, if you have repeated your choices and behaviours in your love life and it hasn’t really worked for you, then it’s time for a change.