- On May 29, 2015
SOMETIMES THERE ARE THINGS THAT COUPLES TELL US DURING COUNSELLING SESSIONS THAT REALLY DON’T MAKE SENSE. BUT THEN AGAIN, WHEN I LOOK BACK AT SOME OF THE MISCONCEPTIONS THAT I HAD ABOUT MARRIAGE IN THE BEGINNING OF MY OWN RELATIONSHIP, I TRY TO SEE THINGS FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.
Over the past few weeks, I was told on more than one occasion by different couples, that when it comes to talking about real problems in the relationship, they feel a little awkward or embarrassed because they are sensitive issues. If it is general conversation about run of the mill subjects, then they could talk until the cows come home. But talking is really important when problems arise and need to be resolved, even when they may be of a delicate nature. But I would like to tell you why you shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk about issues that need to be resolved…
What could be more embarrassing that being naked in front of someone? If you have had the experience when you were a kid, and someone pulled your pants down in the middle of a group of other kids in the playground, then you know what I am talking about. Yet, when we get married, because we love the person we are with, and we trust them completely, this part of being naked in front of them doesn’t really bother us.
This is the most private and intimate thing about us, and yet it becomes something natural. So the question is: If you have already allowed the person you are married to, to have access to the most intimate part of your life, what could cause embarrassment in a conversation between a couple? From the moment you get married and spend that first night together, there is nothing else that is out of bounds. There are no secrets, no hidden bank accounts, no friends the other doesn’t have access to, no secret email accounts or pass codes… All these things are now open and available to the other person because you are one flesh. So why on earth would there be something you couldn’t talk to the other person about?
Any problem that goes on unresolved, becomes a cancer that sooner or later can cause serious damage in the relationship. It’s up to you not to allow this to happen. If something is bothering you in your relationship, then talk to the person about it. Make sure that you keep the levels of the voice to a normal pitch (stay away from the screaming), and no matter how long it takes, work on solving that issue.
Stay tuned for the next post because we will address miscommunication.