We know that adapting to marriage is never easy. You grew up behaving and thinking a certain way, and no one ever told you any differently. Then all of a sudden you have this person living under the same roof as you, sharing your bed, your bathroom, and everywhere you go; there he/she is. Of course we love them, but it can be difficult to adapt.
So, I was reading a great book recently and came across a very interesting idea that made me really think how this also applies to relationships. (more…)
A couple of years ago I embarked on a journey that I had no idea would change my life as much as it did. (more…)
In a world where everything that is new spreads like wildfire, it is natural that every couple of days a new trend starts. Most of these trends don’t really last, and some of them can be pointless, but harmless. There are some though, that you really need to pinch yourself when you hear about it because it can sound like a bit of joke. And so begins the latest craze – the Divorce Selfie.
When we decided to write this post, we already anticipated that some people will disagree with a few of these 10 commandments. But then again, these are perhaps the same people who struggle with problems because they don’t follow these commandments. If you decide to follow them, be aware that your marriage/relationship will change for the better. Here they are: (more…)
There are certain laws of nature that can never be broken. One of these laws is the law of time. Time can’t be stopped, brought back, or even fast-forwarded. It’s a shame most people don’t understand that this rule is very much applicable to love. (more…)
We can’t describe how happy we are every time someone who was waiting and praying for their love life, at long last starts dating. It is an exciting time where there is a transition from being alone to finally having someone. All of a sudden there are new possibilities, you start planning your wedding in your head, and you wake up every morning excited, and for some reason the birds seem to sing just a little louder and sound more beautiful now.
It’s a shame to see that many couples don’t have a fighting chance of making their marriage work because of their own arrogance.
We can often see that some of the problems that couples argue about are really simple and logical to solve. But because no one wants to back down from an argument or own up to their mistake, the environment at home just keeps deteriorating.
Unfortunately many people don’t see how arrogant and proud they are, and think that their partners are to blame for most of the relationship’s problems. To prove this, just ask most couples who in the relationship has the highest percentage of improvement to do so the relationship can work, and almost every single time the husband will blame the wife and vice versa. (more…)
Before we proceed with this post, let’s look at what the urban dictionary says a Casanova is:
Casanova –A smooth-talking charmer who has mastered the art of finding, meeting, attracting and seducing beautiful women into the bedroom. Once he accomplishes his goal, he leaves the woman in fear of having a relationship and proceeds to find his next conquest. (more…)
It’s amazing to see the ability that men and women both have to completely misinterpret what the other one says sometimes. Actually, sometimes we completely twist what we heard the other person say in our heads and give it a completely different meaning. (more…)
Our mind is inherently selfish. This is something that is part of the human being, and with the passing of years this has become increasingly worse. We see so called “relationship experts” driving home the message that you have to see what you can get out of a relationship and making people respect you and love you, but you hardly see anyone talking about giving more of yourself.
As promised from our previous post, here is the most important part of communication: (more…)
SOMETIMES THERE ARE THINGS THAT COUPLES TELL US DURING COUNSELLING SESSIONS THAT REALLY DON’T MAKE SENSE. BUT THEN AGAIN, WHEN I LOOK BACK AT SOME OF THE MISCONCEPTIONS THAT I HAD ABOUT MARRIAGE IN THE BEGINNING OF MY OWN RELATIONSHIP, I TRY TO SEE THINGS FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.
Over the past few weeks, I was told on more than one occasion by different couples, that when it comes to talking about real problems in the relationship, they feel a little awkward or embarrassed because they are sensitive issues. If it is general conversation about run of the mill subjects, then they could talk until the cows come home. But talking is really important when problems arise and need to be resolved, even when they may be of a delicate nature. But I would like to tell you why you shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk about issues that need to be resolved… (more…)
I CAME ACROSS A RECENT STORY SENT TO ME BY A FRIEND, OF A YOUNG WOMAN CALLED RACHEL GOW WHO KILLED HERSELF BECAUSE SHE WAS ABOUT TO TURN 30 AND WASN’T YET MARRIED NOR HAD CHILDREN.
We have to say that this is a very sad story, not only because no one should take their own lives, but especially when they are that young.
From what came out on the media regarding her relationship and general happiness, we can learn the following lessons. (more…)
IN A RECENT VISIT TO A FRIEND WHO HAD A BRIEF STINT IN HOSPITAL, I SAW SOMETHING THAT I IMMEDIATELY ENVISIONED IN MY OWN MARRIAGE.
On a hospital bed next to where I was standing there was an elderly lady who was recovering from a minor surgery and she seemed quite lively and happy. Probably the surgery had been successful and she was just looking forward to going home. This lady must have been around 70 years old. (more…)
Today we would like to talk to you about how some people have built barriers around themselves that are so high that no one can climb over. Now we know why they are still single.
We have seen time and again how some singles seem to be very open to meet new people, but the moment someone approaches them, the smallest of flaws puts them off completely from even getting to know the other person.
Doing some research recently I came across something that scared me a little bit. It is estimated that due to jobs, kids, TV, the Internet, hobbies, and home and family responsibilities, the average married couple spends just four minutes a day alone together. How scary is this? No wonder over 40% of marriages now end up in divorce in the UK with the numbers in the US reaching sometimes up to 50%. (more…)
Remember when you started at school and you were made to write a letter repeatedly on an exercise book page until you learnt it? The same process was then repeated for all the other letters of the alphabet until you knew them by heart. And don’t even get me started on the maths times table…
The method commonly known as learning by repetition, aims at getting us to learn things by repeating them constantly (hence the name). But human beings are usually quite good also at learning what not to do after repeating a mistake a couple of times. Shame that the same doesn’t happen in relationships… (more…)
Let’s look at the meaning of insecurities first.
Insecure: Anxious, afraid, not confident or certain, unstable, shaky
We all have insecurities about something at one point or another in our lives. The secret is to acknowledge the problem, to understand where it’s all coming from and to deal with its root as soon as possible.
Men and women both have their hang-ups, but usually different things make them insecure. Today I will be speaking about what makes men insecure, and I will let my wife Helena Marques talk about the women tomorrow.
Although some men are sometimes insecure about a few things to do with their appearance, this is not usually something that makes them lose any sleep at night. In fact, we seem to have pretty think skin when it comes to our appearance. Our friends sometimes criticise our baldness, a growing belly, or even our height (or the lack of it), and we will still laugh this off and let our friends have a bit of their own medicine and take this all as harmless fun. (more…)
You have probably heard the saying that: “Behind a great man there is always a great woman.” This is certainly true in the sense that a woman plays a huge part in the success of her man. But should a great woman really be behind a great man?For a woman to be fulfilled she needs much more than a background spot in a relationship, or even in society. A woman has her own potential, and if this potential is not developed and worked on, sooner or later she will start feeling frustrated with everything. Including her relationship. (more…)
It’s a funny thing how we tend to think that we can be self-taught with many things in life. And indeed we can. But this can also be the a terrible way to create bad habits that will be very difficult to get rid off, just because no one is teaching us as we go along. We start doing things we think are right but aren’t, and since no one is correcting us we keep this as gospel. And unknowingly to us, we start creating problems that can become real cancers in our lives. (more…)
Special guests Mikey and Leah Madubuko will discuss the issues they faced whilst adapting to married life and finding out they needed professional help to conceive a child, the couple open up about the amount of strain this caused on the relationship.
The wrong type of relationship, or the lack of one, can be the cause of depression for many people. We either find ourselves in bad relationships or are left broken-hearted. (more…)
‘If your partner left you for whatever reason would you take them back?’ Which of course it depends on the situation, however don’t settle for less than you deserve. The other question to be answered is ‘do you think people can change?’